Memories to remember, treasure and to last a life time.

I kind of gave up pursuing in penning things down in this blog and sort of migrated to facebook instead.

As I looked back at all the posts in this blog and the photos (I'm a 'visual-person') I uploaded on facebook, I realised so many things have happened. Some do come back as flashbacks and some were forgotten.

I shall continue to pen adhoc messages here. And my main audience would be my children. Afterall, I don't think anyone would really pop by in here anymore. My children will grow up some day, with children of their own. And when the time comes, we parents will kick the bucket. And it is my wish and hope that this blog serves in bringing them comfort, smiles, love and memories to remember, treasure and to last a life time.

Disappearing act. Peeling garlic act.

Yeap, I've disappeared for a while. I've kind of migrated to FB for most of my updates where I can limit my posts to selected group of friends. Over the Chinese New Year break, I met a friend who asked why I stopped "writing".

To begin with, I don't write. The few "writing" episodes in the newspaper many years ago was by chance. It was just articles I submitted just for the fun of it. I don't have the intention to keep on blogging. It started basically as my personal mission to keep memories in writing where I can reflect back on the things that have happened, to give memories to my children on a (not-so-private) journal in my journey on motherhood and my personal rants in life. 

Concentrating hard to peel garlic

I showed my children, who can now read, this blog, and they kind of enjoyed reading some of the 'stories'. This has also prompted them to write their own diary everyday. As Brendan says, "I also want to keep track of the things I do so that when I am big one day, I can look back at what I did as a child".

Ok, children, you will know some personal stories which I keep in a private journal. You can also continue coming back in here anytime to read my journey, and your baby/childhood stories which will be kept in limited updates. 

My lovely children, found it entertaining to read interesting stories of themselves as babies. 

Anyway, Brendan caught me by surprised when he suddenly sat down at the kitchen table last week to help me peel garlics. Lots and lots of it. Motherhood does springs its surprises at times. After half an hour, he decided to call it quits, finding it too tiring to continue any further. He says, "This is hard work."

Another new year though it seems like yesterday that I......

It's the beginning of another new year and it's always that time of the year when I wish for a better year.

As I reflect back past memories, I feel and see so many things in my life, past and current.

I've now matured a lot. Tremendously in fact. I'm now a mother of two school-going children though it seems like only yesterday that I was a teenage girl, hanging out with friends and enjoying single life. And being single now means having my own personal time with my other half and my two 'creations', that means doing things as a family in most of our daily life.

I now pant and run out of breath when I run with the kids at the park. My body aches, my head turns when I get not enough sleep and I feel tired after a day out hiking. It seems like it was only yesterday when I was actively into sports and even represented the school in some sports. I ran the 100m sprint, took part in long jump, high jump, relay, netball and trained in the hot sun and rain. Sleeping late didn't give me problems the next day. now, it seems I'm contented sitting under the fan, reading a book or magazine or just surfing the net.

And speaking of surfing the net, it used to be lots of social media activities, getting to know new friends, oblivious to the term "danger" and chatting and looking at girlish stuffs. That seems like yesterday too but now, I've developed an interest in reading REAL news, on economic update and markets and reading technical charts, forgetting that accounting was one of my hated subject in college.

And speaking of danger, it seems like yesterday when me, my siblings and cousins, went out to play in my grandparent's kampung. We climbed mango trees, attempted to go up the rambutan trees, played hide and seek in the bushes and behind huge trees, catching spiders in pandan bushes and 'catching' fish in the huge drain nearby. We ran all over the kampung, without any fear of kidnapping or of strangers around. Now, I forbid my kids to do the things I used to do. Crime is a big worry nowadays, almost unheard of in my childhood days. We were happy kids without the computer, watching less tv, practically no toys as we DIY our own toys. Our childhood games was one filled with board games, playing bottle caps, home-sewn 'five-stones', and lots of outdoor games like hide-and-seek, police-and-thief, galah panjang and traditional games unheard of.

Lately, my boy is engrossed in his Plants-vs-Zombies game, influenced by his father during the recent school holidays. My girl, on the other hand, is into her whole list of Barbie movies.

On a personal level, I've taken bold steps to 'try' to go into a more flexi-job. The 'try' turned out to be a great. I never realised that taking the leap to leave the corporate world and the monotonous working life changed my view of the many things happening around. No more hearing of the bitching and backstabbing and complains. As someone said this many moons back, if you don't like it, stop complaining if you want to continue to be where you are, or just CHANGE if you can't stop complaining.

Oh well, too much ranting already. Feels so quiet now that the kids are out with their friends at the daycare centre. It had been a hectic and noisy school holiday and the sudden change makes me pause in my steps, feeling a little lost as to what I should be doing.

I should get back into my routine. Gotta move my butt now.

Happy New Year 2012 to all and cheers to a wonderful and lovely year ahead!!

Some of the shots taken during the Christmas season last month.

Teambuilding!

Last weekend, I joined this group of young and vibrant people for a teambuilding session in PD. They're so dynamic that I feel old.

The sessions were just wonderful. The programme moderators were Shankar Santhiram, Dr Susanna Brida-Hofherr and Andy Gerald Ho from the EQ Training & Development team.

Shankar and his team developed a superb programme, infusing their workplace experiences, leadership and management experiences plus wisdom gained from experts like Bob Proctor, Stephen Covey, Napoleon Hill, Anthony Robbins, Robin Sharma, Alvin Toffler and more.

It's simply one of the best teambuilding sessions I've ever been, but it's quite heavily scheduled and hetic. The many indoor discussion and outdoor activites, comprising of heavy-duty stuffs and light and fun moments really require tons of stamina, lots of thinking, participation, etc.. the real teambuilding stuffs!

On Saturday night, the whole group went for night trekking in the Tanjung Tuan (Melaka border) for approximately 3 hours, starting at 9:30pm. It was a unique experience, but one that I would forego if given the opportunity again. We were to go without torchlights, but some had terror but everyone managed to go through the trekking as a team. We had a long walk in the forest reserve, to the beach, back to the 'jungle', up to the beautiful lighthouse and back to the hotel.

It's just too tiring for me and having to only come back to our hotel at pass midnight, and having to get up at 7am the next morning only added to the lethargic body and mind that I was facing. haha

Sunday morning was even more challenging. After the tiring and long night trekking, we were required, as a team, to build a raft from zero, using bamboos and four empty drums to be used as floaters. That was actually quite fun, just like a scene from survivor.

Everyone was just tired from the whole process but I'd say it's definitely an experience to remember.

Finger-goreng, anyone?

Don't know what went on my mind. I'm working from home today. So, I took the opportunity to prepare some ingredients for cooking later and mana tahu, I cut my finger!!

I was chopping some cabbage finely at a very fast rate and *chop*!! - one tiny part of my fingernail along with some flesh were gone. I can't find the missing part and it's not in the cabbage dish either... eeww.... I didn't feel anything.

I took a closer look and my finger is no longer rounded. One end was straight diagonally and I can see a chunk of flesh missing. Blood starting oozing out and I quickly took some ice out.
Applied some antiseptic lotion and put a bandage on my finger.

Can't believe that happened! Aargh..... Now, my finger is throbbing, like there's a heart in that tiny finger, beating and pounding hard... Haiyo... so lun-cun!

No pictures. It's dinner time, I've gotta go and cook and don't want anyone's appetite to be spoilt.

Big waves coming!

Yes, the big waves are coming my way, and I'm happy and at the same time so kan-cheong going through the waves.

It's coming to year end and there's so many things to do out of the sudden. I have to help manage the current freelance project which I'm doing while managing my own personal consultancy business. While doing these, I'm assisting in the planning of my sis' wedding in December. Our new house has just finished renovation and now there's the painting, the cleaning, the buying of items for the house, moving and then there's my brother's open house.

Gosh, the feeling is so overwhelming... and surprisingly, I'm kinda enjoying it. Over and above all these, there's other family matters we're attending to as well.

I feared having to go through a calm period, like a radarless boat, wanting some action but couldn't move. Now, the waves are coming and I know I wanted this... It's a tough journey having to see to so many things at one time... but at least I'm doing it happily now without any feeling of stress, except for the occasional screaming at the kids....

Boyz II Men

Quite recently, I had the opportunity to meet Boyz II Men up close and personal. I loved their older albums and their songs are part of my favourite collection - A Song for Mama, End of the Road, I'll Make Love to You, On Bended Knee, One Sweet Day....

I don't have any specific favourite singer or groups and mostly go for songs that I like. I've met a few artistes and singers but meeting Boyz II Men is like a dream come true.

Eryn wearing mummy's old dress

My mum will clean and rearrange her cupboard once in a while and 4 months back, while cleaning the cupboard, she took out 2 cute little dresses that was once worn by me more than 30 years ago. My mum kept a lot of our baby clothes, and she has sewn many lovely dresses for me and my sis, but somehow most of it disappeared, or got stolen, when she left it at my grandma's place.

Here's Eryn in one of my baby dress - photo taken about 4 months back when Eryn was 16.5 months.

This is when I wore it many many moons back!

Here's another one of Eryn wearing my dress.

My late grandparents' house

In one of my trip back to my hometown last year, I took my mum and kids to my late maternal grandparents' house just to 'see-see-look-look'.

The house brought back lots of memories and was very nostalgic especially to my mum. This was where my grandparents brought up 13 children. At that time, it was the only big wooden house in the middle of nowhere. There were trees and vegies everywhere - rambutan, durian, papaya, coconut, ciku, pineapple, lime, lemon, even rubber trees and those red biji saga trees (not sure what it's called in English) and many kinds of animals and insects - very filial dogs, cats, chickens, ducks, 2 geese, cobras, pythons, huge biawaks (they feast on the chickens), big fat buzzing bumble bees, monkeys, owls, squirrels, etc.. We love the rambutan season cos the grandma has one particular rambutan tree with seedless rambutans and another with yellow rambutans. In fact, all the rambutan trees (and the papaya trees) bore sweet fruits.

My grandparents were from Hainan. Their marriage were arranged. My mum said that grandpa was a very handsome man and many families tried to match-make their daughters to my grandpa, but my grandpa had eyes only on my grandma. They were married at a very tender young age and grandpa left for Malaysia and set up his own bread factory in Kluang (now taken over by my uncles). Grandma later came to Malaysia and together they settled down in this little town.

It was during the Japanese occupation and things were rough. I used to hear stories of Gurkhas in town and how the Japanese imposed a curfew to avoid any mishaps.

Cooking were done in another section of the land, in a custom-made kitchen as big as the hall in my apartment, using firewood and charcoals over a big wok as big as a tractor's wheel! Ya, grandma and aunts had to cook for the factory workers as well.

There's around 43 grandchildren (or more) and about 12 great-grandchildren now. I am the 10th grandchild and we, the older grandchildren share some fond memories of our childhood at my grandparents' house. We loved playing there, sometimes climbing the mango and rambutan trees, or go searching for "bao fu" (spiders), or simply walk along the big, huge longkang looking for fishes and tadpoles... We played lots of our childhood games here - galah panjang, hide-and-seek, police & thief, etc....

Sometimes, we go under the house, digging to see if we can find some old coins. I used to keep some odd-shaped coins and some with a hole in the middle but have misplaced them. We didn't know how valuable such coins would become.

It's sad seeing the place in ruins now...

Babysmooches in Her World

I've just received a surprise email on BABYSMOOCHES blog being featured in the May 2006 issue of Her World's magazine. Oh, how honoured I feel.... Thanks for the highlight, Her World...

Blog Sweet Blog

Home Sweet Home.... Work Sweet Work...... Blog Sweet Blog..... Yup, that's right! You know what I meant.

"Hey, what happen to your blog? Died a natural death ar?"
"Why haven't you update your blog?"
"Long time no see, no hear, no touch your blog..."

I know... I've been away for quite a while. I've lost touch with the blogging world. In fact, I miss updating my blog. I've just started work in a new place quite recently. Into my first week at work, I've already gotten busy working. Really! And got my first sales within the first week too! Really!

Lots have happened since I left my old workplace... sob! sob! Life has to carry on and I have to take the step to move forward instead of keeping my mind stagnant. It's like you're a river and this river leads out to the big ocean. If the river is filled with dirty water caused by blocked rubbish, you get nowhere. In order to be out in the ocean, someone gotta rid those rubbish to the ocean out there. So, this river got cleared and is now flowing into the ocean. Mind you, it's not still and clear waters out there... There's the bigger picture you have to look at when you're out at the ocean. It's quite scary and exciting at the same time.

Look at it this way - It's hard to be a radarless boat seeking direction. So, you have to have the instinct, some form knowledge as where to head and some guidance from circumstances around you.... guidance from the wind, from the sunrise and sunset, the compass, and most importantly, from above...

My last day at work

I have just came back from a good farewell lunch with some of my soon to-be-ex-colleagues.

People say that I've been having quite a cheerful outlook these past 2 weeks. And why not? I certainly have a light load lifted off my back. No more thinking about the dog-eat-dog world, at least for a while.... I've even managed to spend some good quality time at home with my kids as well.

My last day was supposed to be one week ago, but I have a few things to clear and till today, I have some good ol' clients calling me to ask for help and preferring me to stay on to service them.

I said that I'll still continue servicing them in my next job and that we should give the younger personnel a chance to learn. Most of my close colleagues know that I'm going while some newer ones either come and wish you the best and all those stuffs and some just wouldn't give a damn. Well, it sort of opened my eyes to see who are the ones who really wants me to go, I think.

Since the vss more than 2 months back, I actually forged closer friendships with some colleagues who actually got the vss. During the REAL working world, we didn't really have a chance to sit down and get to know each other personally. Some have become good friends.

We have always been one BIG happy family during our working times together until the "split". Unfortunately (haha, ya, that's unfortunately), I am one of those many who didn't get the vss. The company is good, but people are giving me an opportunity outside of this world. Despite the bosses urging me to stay, I thought over it and am taking the risk to go for another job.

I have mixed feelings. I haven't been sleeping well since I threw in my resignation letter. I've turned down many offers as well, wondering if I have made the right choice. Day in, day out, I listed down the pros and cons, the whys, when, what, etc.....

Then.........This may sound funny. I asked for two signs last week - signs to show whether I should go or stay. Believe it or not, on that day itself, I saw not two signs, but THREE! So, how wierd and eerie can that be?!

To my ex-colleagues (you know who you are)... thanks for the guide and wonderful years we've spent together as colleagues. The tons of laughters and sorrows we had, the ups and downs, the beautiful 'stress' and most of all your treasured friendships.

To my newer ex-colleagues (you know who you are too).. thanks for your new friendships. I've told some of you that you have BIG potential. So, go for it. You are the few ones who made a point to open your hearts out to me :-)

Someone said I should make sure I should not cry. Well, I didn't. In fact, I walked out with great confidence and a big smile on my face...

Like I said, our path will definitely cross again. Keep in touch.

New Year 2006

It’s a brand new year and I wish for a brand new me. Things at work have been quite uncertain for me and I do wonder where this year will head on. I’m starting work officially at a new environment in 2 days time. Same company, different situation, different environment, different location, different experience. I’ve no resolutions to set this year. I’ve no time to sit and think carefully about any resolutions actually.

There are so many things on my mind, and I’m trying to reorganize myself at this point of time.

Currently, I’m pretty much contented with the time I’m spending with my kids and contented that my mum is still so kind to help us out with the kids while we work, The kids alone are a blessing to me and it over-rules all other worries I always have.

Here’s taking the opportunity share with you one of my favourite sms greetings of all time :

“GOD will be ABOVE you – to BLESS you,
BELOW you – to SUPPORT you,
BEFORE you to GUIDE you,
BEHIND you, to PROTECT you,
BESIDE you – to COMFORT you,
And INSIDE you – to SUSTAIN you.

HAVE A BLESSED YEAR AHEAD EVERYONE!

Doctor doctor!

I took my mum to a government hospital somewhere in KL for a check-up and we had to wait really long just to see the doctor.

Her appointment was scheduled to be at 10am. We arrived at 9:40am, registered my mum, and the waiting game began. We didn't get to see the doctor until around 11:35am. We entered the room and saw a few of the 4th year students sitting inside. Two of the students were then asked to entertain us. We were promised that it would only take 15 minutes. Well, the whole thing actually took one hour and the kind of questions they ask can really make you wonder how qualified these doctors are.

These two female 4th year students can't speak proper English, whatmore wanting us to "TRY" to understand what they're trying to say. They kept repeating the same questions and some of the questions are totally absurb. Among them are....

"How do you feel today?" (they asked this numerous times within that one hour interview)
"How do you feel the last time?" (asked this twice)
"Do you know where you are now?" (DUH!!!)
"Do you know what's the date today?" (despite writing it down on the paper)
"How old are you now?" (despite asking many times about the birth of date)
"How do you minus 7 from 100?" (what?! mathematic class ar?)
"You know, world, how you spell back?" (what? I don't understand leh...)
(she meant to ask how to you spell "world" backwards!! whatever for?!)
"How many children you have?" (after telling them I'm the eldest, and followed by one boy and one gal....)

The list goes on and on.... It was like a typical teacher-student classroom interview setting. They were treating my mum like some sort of a stupid person.

My mum can't really speak and understand BM and they took the advantage of whispering to each other in BM. My mum told them that she was taking a medicine for health and one of the student whispered to the other student, "apa ubat itu? tahu tak?"

I was sighing away, reading my papers and occasionally give them that really hard glare.....

Finally, I exploded and told them off, telling them that I do lots of reading myself and is quite knowledgeable and that what they're doing is really so unprofessional. I may not be a doctor but I don't think a doctor should treat an illiterate person like some donkey. Immediately they kept their trap up. They even relay some wrong information to the main doctor we were supposed to see cos when that doctor reviewed us, she told us that based on what she compiled from the two students, she gathered that my mum said this and that, which I found really amusing. I stared at them back and even corrected that the medicine my mum is taking is not what they claimed it to be. They immediately looked down and flip through their book.

Now I know why my friends who are now doctors in other countries just do not want to come back to Malaysia to work. And I also know why some friends do not have the confidence in Malaysia's young doctors!!

I LIVE it my way

With so many of my colleagues leaving, the goodbyes seem to be quite unbearable. My mailbox is full with goodbyes and notes and messages, short and long. Two emails particularly caught my heart.

One said this.... " I leave you with this thought; it's a line from an old french war song...... Chacun Son Tour. Aujourd'hui le tien, demain le mien. To each his turn. Today yours, tomorrow mine."

This one touched my heart even more. It seems to potray what I want to say as well...

I guess the end is near, and so I face, the final curtain.
My friend, I'll say it clear,
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain.
I've lived, a life that's full, I've traveled each and every highway.
And more, much more than this,
I live it my way.

Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention.
I did, what I had to do, and saw it through, without exemption.
I planned, each charted course, each careful step, along the byway,
and more, much more than this,
I live it my way.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew,
When I bit off, more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up, and spit it out.
I faced it all, and I stood tall,
and live it my way.

I've loved, I've laughed and cried,
I've had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing.
To think, I did all that, and may I say --- not in a shy way,
"Oh no, oh no not me,
I live it my way".

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things, he truly feels,
And not the words, of one who kneels.
The record shows, I took the blows ---
And live it my way!

Mummy work there...

This morning, my son saw my name tag and access card and pointed to it and say "mummy work there".

Brendan recognises my company logo a few months back and I believe credance should go to his grandma or daddy (despite them denying teaching my son that) cos I've never tell him where I work in. Whenever he sees my company's logo in the newspaper, he'll go "mummy work there". He sees it on the paper bag, he'll go "mummy work there". Whenever he sees the logo on a car or in a banner, or on a t-shirt, or in a magazine, or paperbag, or anywhere else, he'll go "mummy work there".

Each time he says it, I'll be patient and reply "smart boy! Yes, mummy work in this company" and smile.

This morning, it was a different story. With low morale, and straight face, I told Brendan "Yes, mummy work here, but mummy might not be working in this company in the future". I then went to work with tears swelling in my eyes.

For those who know of the vss announcement, I was asked to stay on to serve the company. I wrote in an appeal but was rejected. For certain reasons, my morale has been very low, I'm demotivated and gloomy. 3 days ago, I've rejected a high pay job to give myself a chance to serve the company, but in a different environment now.

I've loved my job and my company all these while. The last day for my colleagues who got the vss is today. I'll be having 2 farewell parties today. The place has been very nostalgic for me. I thought everything should be ok until Brendan had to point out to me and made me aware of the presence and facts of what's happening.

The sentence "mummy work there" lies lingering in my head the whole morning...

Home Orchestra

The flu season is in. Everyone in the house were either sneezing, coughing, sniffing, talking in a coarse voice and the two kids are making all sort of orchestra.

This mini orchestra had been going on for quite a while. My little girl is not that badly affected and I believe it's the power of breastmilk. With Christmas around the corner, I wonder what kind of Christmas we'll be having.

It's "nggghhhhmmm" here and "heeeekkk heeeekkk" there, "sqeirubndfsbdt" here and "sigh...." there....

vss deadline

Today's the deadline for the submission of the vss application. I've happily sent in my application last week. I've no qualms about leaving or staying at the moment, coz everything is still in a daze for me after the so-called take-over. I've been quite contented for the past 6 and a half years that I've been working here, being in the comfort zone. I've had a few offers to move on, but due to my kids, I wasn't willing to start fresh all over again. This time, I have to relook at all other potential offers cos I may be kicked out of the company quite soon should my vss application be accepted.

I've always wanted to get less stressful and more flexible job so I can spend more time with my kids (no, a full-time mum is definitely not for me) and hopefully venture into something where I can have a good juggle between work and family.

I hope my time has come for me to move one. I hope to start fresh somewhere else, and preferably AFTER CNY. My boss keeps saying "you'll have to stay... you'll have to stay..." and I'm saying "give me the money, give me the money" and he'll say "where you want to go? what you gonna do?" I'll just simply say, "probably be a housewife and have more time at home". haha, like real..... It goes on and on everytime..

The "letter" will be out next Thursday. So, we'll wait and see...

DIY popiah

DH is a popiah lover (the wet one, not the fried one) and has made us all his Kelantanese-style popiah which turns out to be quite ok, but soggy at times.

Three weeks back, I had the opportunity to eat one of my friend's cum ex-classmate's
mothers special homemade popiah. I've tasted it once before when I was still in school. So, this time, she invited me over to her house and boy, it was just as good as ever. The secret to the delicious popiah lies in the individual cooking of each single ingredients, supplemented by the very shiok homemade chilli sauce, pounded kacang, fried shallots and of course the prawn paste. There were the usual taugeh, long beans, fried egg, grated turnip with carrot, cucumber, tauhu, prawn, mushroom and a very, very nice braised pork dish.

The technique of folding the popiah itself requires some skill. Boy, thinking of it makes me hungry now.

Banana man

I find this to be very funny and thought I should include it here.

I know of some friends who are what we call the "xiang-jiao-ren", directly translated as"banana man", literally means a chinese fella who can't speak chinese.

This story was brought up in our steamboat gathering yesterday.

During our school days, we used to have Mandarin classes scheduled for the Chinese while the Malays attend their Islamic classes and the Indians attend their tamil classes.

In one particular class, our skinny Mandarin language teacher (who likes calling people "da-fan-su", or "big potato") called on some of the students to name an animal in Mandarin. One of my classmate, who is, well... was, a definite "xiang-jiao-ren" was called, and it went something like this :

T : (in mandarin) E, please name me an animal.
E : (in mandarin) "Ju-Ba-Jie"

*everyone started laughing*

T : (in mandarin) You think that is funny is it?
E : What's wrong? "Ju-Ba-Jie" is a pig wat..
(innocent looking and totally blur over what the big hoo-haa was all about)
T : (in mandarin) I want you to go to the field and run two rounds.

E went to the field and ran 800 metres in total. Well, E said that he should have answer "Sun-Wu-Kong".

poor thing......