Friday, April 4, 2008

Single Daddy

I had dinner today with one of my ex-colleague, Sam (name has been changed to protect his privacy).

I've known Sam for about 8 years now I think. We used to work together and were quite happy in the old environment where everyone truly work hand-in-hand as one feel good family.

I didn't know that Sam is already in his mid 40s as he looks like he is only in his mid 30s. He is a very nice and humble malay guy, ever so patient and always so accomodating. He is also a single father.

Now, this is a very unique case cos I've never come across anyone such as Sam cos he is not married, neither is he the real father of the 2 children that he's caring and staying with in his apartment. Sam adopted 2 son, age 3.5 years old and age 10 months.

The eldest son came from a family in extreme proverty and was thus given up for adoption since he was a baby. He even looks very much like Sam. His friends and relatives have commented that the close bond between them has somehow have created that psychological perception that they are biological father and son.

His second son came about when a young uni. student from UITM got herself pregnant. The girl's boyfriend dumped her when her tummy started to show at 3 months. One month later, she missed classes and eventually dropped out of class. Her friend is a relative of Sam and told Sam about her case. Sam took the interest to adopt the unwanted baby and even took the young girl in to stay with an aunt during her pregnancy until she delivered. In her 3rd week, she went back to her kampung and began life anew, lying to her family that she decided not to continue with her studies. None of her family members know about her delivery at all.

Sam made arrangement for adoption and took in this very beautiful and charming baby boy as his own son. He has large round eyes, a sharp chin and a very beautiful smile. Apparently, the baby's mother has the look of an actress model and the baby has inherited her beautiful looks.

Sam is unlike most fathers and even mothers that I know. He personally care for them, feed them, change them, and does everything single thing a mother does. He single-handedly manage both children after work and juggle between work and home like a supermom, literally leaving his bachelorhood overnight. Come to think of it, I don't think I can be as good as Sam.

His devotion and unconditional love for his 2 adopted sons should win him the award for the father of the year and no doubt passing the mark as the superdaddy-mummy hero.

As I drove back home after the dinner, I am reminded how fortunate I am to be put in circumstances which test my patience, love and devotion to my own children.

Today, I am glad I actually made the right move to move out of my comfort zone, leaving a wonderful job to focus on other priorities in life, to build a new business for a future that I desire, to move on with life despite having other people asking why do I leave a career for something that is not so stable.

I may look back and cherish my past career but I have no regrets choosing the unknown path. The journey may not be easy, the road may not be tarred, but as I walk further down the dusty road, I see little flowers starting to bloom and a rainbow at the end of the road...

I cried hearing Sam's struggle as a single parent, his struggle with work stress that had recently taken a toll on his life, his feelings and emotions and I believe, deep down, a wholesome family life that only time can tell.

Sam, you showed me little things in motherhood which I've sometimes taken for granted and I'm glad that you gave me the motivation and inspiration during dinner last night.

Thank you, Sam!


chanelwong said...

Soo touching...if got more people like him, there will not be problem in social. Who said we can only love own blood kids...? Other kids also need love and care..

Anonymous said...

I can't believe it. I know a lot of single women adopted children, but only now I know man also did it.

he is such a wonderful man!

alicia said...

wah i reli kennot believe it! most of the guys usually dun bother much about their own kid wat more adopt them... reli salute him!

Baby Smooches said...

It's really something so special isn't it? He's not even rich, and he's very humble and down-to-earth. Truly amazing...


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