As I was picking out some pictures on random to make the heart shape card below, I suddenly felt overwhelmed with lots of emotions, in my journey to be a mother.
In a flash, I never realised that motherhood has changed me so much as a person and at the way I look at things in life. For me, to give up great careers opportunity to start fresh into something new was something I didn't knew could happen to me until I made that decision to JUST DO IT. The initial period started with lots doubts on how I was suppose to live a life without a good income and lots of benefits given to me when I was a single woman. I'm glad to have a supportive husband who encourage me to follow my heart.
Looking back, I'm glad I made the right choice. The journey may be tough, but it was one of the greatest decision I've ever made, a treasure so precious that money can't buy. I've gotten quite good in my new found career, with lots of flexibility and to lead a life many would admire. It's a continuing journey but one that I know I'm satisfied with.
My mum will always be in my thoughts but unfortunately, I'm not able to spend it with her this year as it's Brendan's school exam week. As I prepare my card, my thoughts go out to those struggling and single mothers, SAHM mothers who stressed themselves to give the best for their children, WAHM mothers who work to contribute to the household income, and especially so to mothers with special kids. I know of friends who have special kids, and two of them came to mind today. One of them has a son who has superb gift in art and another had struggled for more than 10 years to bring up two disabled kids along with two other normal kids on her own. Her husband left her many years back. Her heart is full of love, but the physical tiredness shown on her face proves that life had been tough for her.
Another special mother just came to mind, she was someone who treated me like her daughther. She said that to me just months before she took her own life many years back. She had been going through a tough time with her health problem. No one knows the internal turmoil in her. She is quite well to-do but was quite lonely at times too. She took in a baby as her own and brought up the child until he was old enough to take care of himself. And that was when she decided to end her life. It didn't came to mind when she had hinted on wanting to meet me to pass me all her clothings, some accessories and children's books. I have delayed meeting her until one day, when I decided to call her. Her only child picked up the phone and said, "I'm sorry to let you know that my mum is not around". I asked where has she gone to and when will she be back, only to realise that she has chosen to end her life just one night before the day I called her. I don't know why she came to thoughts today. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about her....
To my mum and all mothers out there, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY and God bless you.